This movie musical is directed by Hairspray's Adam Shankman and its all-star cast includes Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Mary J. Blige, Paul Giamatti, Bryan Cranston, Malin Akerman, and Tom Cruise. Set in 1987 Los Angeles, Sherrie (Hough) moves to the City of Dreams to pursue her passion of singing. There, she meets aspiring rocker Drew (Boneta) and he gets her a waitressing job at the famed Bourbon Room on the Sunset Strip. Its love at first sight, but their relationship is tested by the prospect of fame and fortune. Other story lines, involving all others mention above, also occur, but they're not worth describing. I was expecting this film to be a satire, as I could not imagine anyone, not even the actors and director, taking this seriously. However, the film was so un-funny that I began worrying that they were being serious. It turns out that it was a satire, because it was so painfully bad that it had to be. I don't know what possessed all of these talented people to sign onto a project so ridiculous as this one. All of the musical numbers felt out of place, the lip-synching and auto-tuning were god-awful, the acting was mercifully bad, and the characters were just laughable. Tom Cruise, almost fifty and well under six feet tall, makes a fool of himself playing a rock star/sex god. I laughed guiltlessly every time he appeared on screen. Zeta-Jones and Akerman were also some of the worst offenders. Their characters were so incredibly ridiculous that I almost couldn't bear to watch. Shankman, with Hairspray, was able to craft a funny, poignant, and relevant musical, which I really enjoyed, but this one was a huge miss. I left the theatre angry that the film wasted two-and-a-half hours of my life.
Should you see it: No
Grade: F
Rock of Ages gets the distinction of being the first film on my blog to receive an F.
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